Genealogy Humor

Incongruous as it may seem to the uninitiated, genealogy humor does exist,so don't take yourself too seriously and have some family search fun. Genealogy is not all musty libraries and prune-faced portraits. Lighten up and have some laughs. The following is an example of the other side of family history - genealogy humor.

Have Fun In Your Family Search

• Genealogists don't die, they just lose their census.

  A clever play on words but with a serious side. Keep track of where you find information, your sources, and you will retain your sanity.

• Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.

  I don't know about confusing the dead, but you will certainly get up the nose of the living if you are not considerate of their feelings as you go probing the darker recesses of your family's history.

• He ain't heavy--He's my brother's aunt's sister's husband.

  No matter who you're dealing with, treat them with respect. A point easy to lose sight of if you are privy to some dirty family laundry about Cousin Lucy who happens to be next on your "must contact' list.

• I'd rather look for dead people than have 'em look for me.

  Self explanatory this one. All those horror movies with rattling chains and low moans immediately spring to mind.

• Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.

  Whoever thought up this one hit the nail on the head. A piece of home-spun wisdom which should be taken in conjuction with the following.

• Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.

  Or, to put it another way - any movement is progress!

• Research: What I'm doing, when I don't know what I'm doing.

  Too true. Even of the 'expert' genealogist. When totally at a loss how to proceed further, life (and genealogy) has the uncanny ability to come up with some intrigueing solutions.

• Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.

  Yes, I am a creationist and firmly believe that our original progenitors were Adam and Eve. I knew a gentleman who did in fact go back that far on one side of his family!

• Whoever said "Seek and Ye shall find" was NOT a genealogist!

  Sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but there will be the occasional brick wall. The important point here is not to get despondant. We have all been there and that's all part of the challenge and frustration of genealogy.

• Every old person that dies - is a library that burns.

  Sad but true. Catch up with your living relatives before time catches up with them - mmm, not bad. You have my permission to use it!

Ten Commandments For Genealogists

I. Thou shalt name your male children: James, John, Joseph, Josiah, Abel, Richard, Thomas, William.

II. Thou shalt name your female children: Elizabeth, Mary, Martha, Maria, Sarah, Ida, Virginia, May.

III. Thou shalt leave NO trace of your female children.

IV. Thou shalt, after naming your children from the above lists, call them by strange nicknames such as: Ike, Eli, Polly, Dolly, Sukey.---making them difficult to trace.

V. Thou shalt NOT use any middle names on any legal documents or census reports, and only where necessary, you may use only initials on legal documents.

VI. Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly so that your surname can be spelled, or misspelled, in various ways: Hicks, Hickes, Hix, Hixe, Hucks, Kicks.

VII. Thou shalt, after no more then 3 generations, make sure that all family records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, or buried so that NO future trace of them can be found.

VIII. Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, & vague innuendo regarding your place origination. (A) you may have come from : England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales....or Iran. (B) you may have American Indian ancestry of the______tribe...... (C) You may have descended from one of three brothers that came over from______

IX. Thou shalt leave NO cemetery records, or headstones with legible names.

X. Thou shalt leave NO family Bible with records of birth, marriages, or deaths.

There you have it, a taste of genealogy humor.

And now.......remember to take time out from your research. If there's one thing you can learn from genealogy humor - everything has a funny side.

"Tis human to cry - tis wisdom to laugh"